I don't usually post; that's Laura's thing, but for some reason I'm rambling anyway...
First of all, my wife is the best. Seriously, though, she is. She's my closest friend, advisor, cheerleader, etc. and an awesome mom. She's the best thing that ever happened to me. This is all very cliche, but oh well. I like her. And our life is good... Our kids are fun, and lovable, and life is just very good. If you want a happy post, stop reading now. Seriously why are you still reading? Are you stupid? Or just morbid? You mock my pain! Life is PAIN highness!!! What sort of weirdo writes this stuff???
My one complaint in life is this job process. As most of you know, I went through the hiring process at a certain company... and was hired, but then didn't make it past the security interviews. This was a crushing thing for me, since I went to grad school in order to get this position... Life lesson: DON'T put all your eggs in one basket!
Since then I've applied at hundreds (no I'm not exaggerating) of jobs, went through scores of interviews, and been basically hired for four positions, but had some problem right at the end of the process.
The issue is not that I can't get a job per se, but just that I can't seem to get the career job I want for the salary I absolutely need (not much actually below median wages for this field).
My frustrations are legion. (hahaha biblical ref)
Plans for the future have been, well, sketchy. I'm applying for PhD programs across the country, and while I know I'd enjoy being a professor, I'm not sure if I want my life's work to be political research that may or may not even be known to folk within the field.
I got this MA in order to get THAT job in THAT company, and to be honest, my enthusiasm for other positions in other companies just don't have the appeal for me...
In reality, while I love the people in this ward, I don't love the east coast or the DC metro area. I was willing to live here for THAT one career. Laura will follow me anywhere (almost) but I know she's not happy being so far from family.
But to simply move back to the mountain west would mean that my very prestigious, very EXPENSIVE masters degree would be basically worthless. An MA in International Relations is good for a career in DC, but not back home.
This is all a bit of a sad confession I suppose. I spent tons of money and time and effort on this program because I KNEW it would get me the job I dreamed of, and it did, but I never dreamed I might not get by the security process! I'm not a criminal! (well sort of) And now I have a great degree for a career I don't want, since my job desires were so narrow.
This is probably the source of my job issues. The job I want doesn't really exist, since it is a mirage of the job I was first offered but failed to get. So I have searched and applied for jobs, some that seem great, but then pay less than I made in my first year after high school.
And if I can truly just get over the loss of THAT job... then I have a decision to make.
I'm ToTaLly RaMbLing hEre!!!! huh?
My historical "second choice" was to return to school and get that PhD. I really like teaching, and research can be interesting, if sometimes dull and seldom rewarding. The lifestyle of a college professor is very appealing.
Also recurring (as it has since my mission) is the prospect of law school. I dismissed this idea a long time ago, because I felt that I wanted it for the wrong reasons (money, money, and money). But the unemployment of the past six months has worn at me, bringing back images of the food stamps, Deseret brands, and pitying looks from my youth. And my dream jobs are de-glamorized, work may in fact simply be work, with some work being less pleasant than other work.
And some work less paid than other work. And I actually think I could find interesting, stimulating positions as a lawyer...
Both professor and lawyer will require 3 years more of school, though the PhD may take longer. Starting salary of professor is half what the lawyer makes. There are more attorney positions out there, meaning we will be more likely to be able to LIVE where we WANT to LIVE.
But the PhD route BUILDS on what I have already studied. It means my MA wasn't a WASTE! As a lawyer, that MA will only come in handy if I end up in politics. (fat chance, do u know me? NOT very charismatic for the masses)
So in a moment of AWESOME DECISIVENESS, I have decided to pursue BOTH. I'll take the LSAT next month and see what my application options are, and I'll continue wooing the PhD programs I have already applied for. Maybe the Lord will see fit to shut the doors he doesn't want me in... It seems He's been doing that already.
And now, if you've read this entire post, you deserve a medal. If it seems like a bunch of whining... well, the heck with you!! I feel better having puked up my frustrations to the entire internet world. And so do you.
Laura may kill me for babbling like this on her blog... hmmmm....
