Parental Frustration

I have a child who works for hours and hours on his homework at night.  (Not because he doesn't understand the work, but because his mind wanders a lot.). I don't like it.  I wish he didn't have homework, but he does, so I make him complete it in hopes that he will get good grades and feel good about his performance in school. This is a child with no friends, and low self-esteem.  I want him to have success in school because the social part of life is so hard for him.  Maybe if he gets good grades then he can feel successful and like himself.

THEN THERE ARE DAYS LIKE TODAY.

Days when I feel like my efforts to prepare him for the future are worthless.  He has missing assignments at school.  Assignments that I know are finished, he just hasn't turned them into his teacher.  I've nagged and reminded him to turn them in all week, and yet when I ask about them he panicks and has a melt down.  He flails around, hitting himself in the head and calling himself "stupid".  A complete overreaction to a simple question.  I feel like I'm making it worse.  I don't know what else to do except tell him to "try harder tomorrow, because why spend hours and hours doing assignments and then not get credit for them?" He's smart and has an amazing memory, he just has focus issues and I don't know how to help him.

I'm not saying this to garner pity or receive advice.  Just spewing my thoughts so that someday I can look back and remember.  As for today I can only hope that he will grow and mature and reach the potential I know he has in him.