It being a new year, many people like to make New Years Resolutions. I try to think of some every year, but I never really get that far because trying to think of things that may improve myself makes me think of those things that I don't do well. So instead of a list of things to do, here is a list of five things that I feel somewhat self-conscious about.
1. At the top of my list is the shape of my body. (If you meet anyone who is really satisfied with how their body looks, I will show you a big liar.) Despite the fact that I have lost all the weight I gained from being pregnant with Sam, and from splurging this last summer, I still have this spare tire that sits around my rib cage. I really hate it, because it makes all my clothes look terrible on me, and I just got new clothes at the beginning of the summer. I am also aware that I have this tire because I'm too lazy to work it off. After Landon was born I did 100 crunches every night. It didn't get rid of all the fat around my mid-section but I looked much better in my clothes...in the end that's all I want.
2. I watch way too much television. Always have. There is really nothing good on television, save one or two shows a week, and yet I watch several hours a day (many of which are stupid children's shows). I hate it about myself. I feel that I could be doing so much more with my life, yet I'm too lazy.
3. I would like to know how to fix my hair. I usually just let it hang loose. I don't know how to braid, pull up, or curl it so it looks stylish. Most of the time it's because of that lazy thing again. What I'd really like to do is to go to a real stylist who will cut and style my hair then show me how to do it. That would be nice.
4. Did I mention I hate the way I dress? I just have no style. I might even go so far as to put myself on that "What Not To Wear" show on TLC, (which brings me back to watching too much TV) except that I know exactly what they would tell me to buy. Clothes that are way too expensive for me to buy...but hey they'd give me the money to do it. The downer of going on that show would be the shoes. I DON'T wear heels EVER! I'm clumsy enough as it is. I don't need shoes to help me fall all over my feet.
5. Fear rules a lot of what I do in life. Because of my many fears, I don't like to take my boys anywhere without Chris. So what happens when he gets a job, and is not home to go out with us? I guess it's something I'll have to get over, change my personality, be more confident in my ability to handle the boys by myself, not sure it will happen right away. I guess we'll have to wait and see.
Anyways these are things I'm working on. Dedication, Courage, Patience, and Laziness(the style thing needs outside help that is just not possible right now). Also - I need to be less hard on myself. I'm not perfect and never will be, so I'd better just accept it. Which leads me to my final point - I may not be perfect, but if you come to stay at our house I'll have a clean towel for you to shower with. That may be the best thing I can do for anyone right now. So come visit us and look forward to clean towels. Random? Yes, but true!
PS Chris tells me I'm a freak for writing this all down...but there it is.
2 comments:
Congts, I think the biggest step to change is to acknowledge and write it so you can track your progress. I totally know how you feel, it was weird I felt like i was reading something that I wrote, my family and eli say I should be on what not to wear, ok i know i dont always look put together but i try, or like to think i do, I never cared growing up and am the result of my own unwilling to learn. For the hair, try finding a beauty school they are cheaper and ask for an experienced person they do better.. . Oh, I have several books that i have read will have to find them and send you the title written by an lds lady dietian and her advise goes with the word of widsom. For weight i found when i record inches on arms, waist, thighs bust, then keep a pediometer on and record how much exercise i do, then i see a progression, and a food log to record what i ate and the servings. this was before the last child i am glad you reminded me to get a move on. I will email you later with some other information. andy
This is Spencer.
Chris, would you just get on with it and become independently wealthy so you can move to Greece and I can have my BFF(out of obligation) back.
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