Sigh

My "little" problem continued on through last night and through out today. I'm not in any pain, but it is a worrisome problem. This afternoon I called the doctor again. Okay so I haven't ever talked to the actual doctor, just the nurse. She doesn't think it's necessary to go into the office and get checked out. I'm a little miffed about that. It just doesn't feel like I'm a very high priority.(maybe I'll find a new doctor when all these issues are over) She sent me to hospital blood lab to get my blood tested, and I have to go again on Saturday and do it all over again so they can compare my hormone levels. If it turns out that my hormones are dropping instead of increasing I will insist on going into the office to have someone check me out and make sure everything is okay for us to try again.

Part of me really thinks I miscarried the baby, but a little part is in denial and hopes this problem is just some freak event. I think I'm in denial, mostly because I don't want these last three weeks of feeling yucky to be a total waste of effort. Either way I know everything will be fine, and I'm in okay spirits, really! I only found myself getting sad a couple of times today. I just want to know what's really going on, so I can start move on.

Landon might even be more sad about it than I am....if he would just try to understand what I attempted to explain to him today about our visit to the hospital. While they were taking my blood Landon drew a picture of a little person lying inside a box with lots of Z's around the person. He told me it was his new little brother, Seth, sleeping in his crib. (He's positive that his next sibling will be a boy, and gets angry when we try to tell him that we might, by some miracle, have a girl)

When I told Sam that the baby might not be in my tummy anymore he got excited and asked me if I wasn't sick anymore. I told him I was still sick, but I might get better soon. Then Sam looked at my stomach and yelled "BABY! YOU GET OUT!"